"Be the Calm in the Storm"

The words of Hanoach Daum upon the launching of book of the letters of fallen soldiers

Hanoch Daum is someone whose voice I have brought here before. He is a well-known Israeli writer, journalist, and comedian. His followers include a very wide swath of Israelis— I believe because he uses his large platform for positivity. He has become the “address” of people sharing stories of small or large heroism, of asking for help when they know of a reservist, or a reserve family, or a bereaved family, or a survivor— anyone who is carrying the weight of the war in the most personal way—and he shares these stories, along with his own insights, on his social media and in the wider press. Below is an abridged version of something he wrote recently in the newspaper Yediot Achronot, a piece with a precious piece of advice at the end:

Hanoach Daum and Emily Damari

“I was privileged to host an evening this week that could not take place in any other country: we launched a book whose authors are, in fact, no longer with us. They fell in battle. This is a book written by heroic soldiers who left behind a final letter before going into the battlefield because they understood the significance of what they were doing.

And what letters they are. The level of bravery and strength, and the ability to see good, and the love of country these young men have, who went into battle knowing that they would not necessarily return. And they have a request from us: not to break. How much generosity there is in the last letter, which asks not to be too sad. To move on. What a young generation we have growing up here! Former captive Emily Damari took to the stage to thank the families who lost their sons and daughters in the campaign for their release from Hamas captivity. Is it possible to define such a moment in words?

One of the tasks I have taken on is to tell you how much good there is in our people… I see a lot of good. In unimaginable quantities. Last week I launched a digital writing workshop, and a few minutes later five different people wrote to me on the website that they were buying it, but not for themselves. They asked me to give it to a reservist or a wounded soldier. It was so immediate and moving and also wise. Wounded people in rehabilitation sometimes have time – and what better thing to do at a time like this when the soul is turbulent than to write?

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How do you reconcile the good that is here with the chaos? What do you do with the gap? A wise person told me something that really caught my attention. We spoke about the turbulent situation (in Israel). About the chaos. About the difficulty of calming the spirit when so many torches surround, and there are such extremes and so many people working to create division. This wise man told me a beautiful parable: There is a storm at sea and you are on a small lifeboat with a few other people. The winds, the waves and the people are behaving irrationally. One person screams, another pushes, a third insists on saving a suitcase and endangers himself by holding onto it instead of the boat. And you can't correct or educate everyone and you can't stop the storm or lower the waves. But you can be the calm person in the boat. Sometimes that is the most useful role. Sometimes that is exactly what is missing, (someone) to be the calm person in the boat. A person who will be looked at and seen as he is: Quiet. One who believes in goodness. Something of his calm will slowly seep through to others as well.

So if you find yourself caught in a perfect storm, in a too-heated argument, and you have asked yourself what is the right thing to do, try this advice: be the calm person in the boat.”

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As I was about to hit publish on this post, I searched for a photo to use for it, and I found these words that Hanoch Daum shared about this book:

“My face is sad in the picture that Efrat took, but this book that brings the last letters of those who fell by the sword of iron is not only sad. Like, it's very sad, right? Heartbreaking at the most difficult levels. Truly devastating. But it also gives strength. And if our fighters had the courage to write farewell letters, we should have the courage to read them.

The book is called "If You Read These Words," and it is one of the most important books to come out of the war books in Israel, among other things because it brings us the last requests of our heroes. And the fighters in their last letters, in their last words, a moment before they gave their lives for us, ask us to be better. To be worthy. To love. And even to be happy.

There is no book that is more Israeli than it, there is no book that is sadder than it, but at times there is no book that is funnier than it. I read it in small portions. I read it with sadness, I read it with love. I was excited to hear that half of the proceeds from the book will go to continue the commemoration of the fallen. The book is not yet in stores but is on pre-sale on the Koren website*. This is a book you need to have in your home.”

Editor’s note: *Although this book is available now only in Hebrew, the fact that is publsied by Koren Publishers, a publisher whose “bread and butter” is English-language Jewish and Israel-themed books, I am hopeful that it will be released in English as well.