If Only: Words to Let Go
Iris Haim on Elul
It is my hope and intent to release a song each week, but, me being human, sometimes it won’t happen. If you have a song you’d like to suggest I translate, send me a message.
I share here in translation the recent words of Iris Haim, mother of Yotam, one of three former captives in Gaza who was accidentally killed by IDF forces as they tried to escape.
Iris has brought healing all over Israel since the days immediately following her son’s death, when she sent a message to the soldiers of the unit who accidentally killed him.
Yotam Haim, z’’l
A few days ago the month of Elul arrived, and I was invited to speak before an audience in Jerusalem about forgiveness and contemplation.
The date was Aleph Elul (which is also the Hebrew birthday of our son, Tuval) and when I looked at the combination of letters (אלול א/Elul-A) the word “Elulei” immediately jumped out at me.
אלולא. Elulei. If only.
And immediately my own personal “if only”, my family's “if only,” and the nation’s “if only” jumped out at me.
If only the seventh of October hadn't happened.
If only Yotam had stayed to sleep in Tel Aviv and not returned to Kfar Gaza that Friday.
If only there’d been reserve troops in Shijaiyeh and not regular soldiers.
If only, if only, if only, if only.
And this ‘if only’ brings us to anger, and to a feeling of inadequacy and helplessness, because what has been done cannot be turned back.
And I am talking to the wonderful and diverse audience sitting in front of me, women and men, religious and secular, from the left and the right, about my choice, and ours, this Elul not to be in ‘elulei’ - to not remain in the “if only.’.
To continue forward, to continue to choose what is good, to connect with my inner voice to see the strength of Yotam and all of us, and not the weakness.
And I read there the words of (the poet) Zelda about choosing, observing and listening. And finally everyone sings together from Rabbi Kook's words: Ben Adam Alei L’ma’ala Alei. (Human, rise. Rise up.)
May we have a quiet Shabbat, with hope for good news for all the people of Israel.
As I read Iris’ words I noticed that the word ‘elulei’ sounds similar to ‘alei,’ rise up. And although the letters each word contains are not so similar, maybe we can see this almost-homonym as a hint that if we move beyond the ‘elulei’- we can rise up.