In the Shadow of National Controversy, a Bereaved Father Provides a Personal, and a National Response
Hagai Lober, father of fallen soldier Elisha Yehonatan Lober, on the ceremony of his heart. A Poem in Translation
When Elisha Yehonatan Lober fell in battle in December, Hagai Louber shared this plea in a Facebook post:
“We request of the media and of every one of our nation please, one day of unity to uplift his soul, please don’t write of broadcast anything divisive, please, speak good [of others], find the good of the decision makers and of our amazing people who Yehonatan was proud to fight for.”
There is much controversy in Israel now, though I always ask myself how much this is truly so, and how much it is the media putting a spotlight on the controversy that exists, rather than giving voice to the masses that are not represented by it.
Here is the voice of one bereaved father, who writes in response to the controversy filling Israel’s media now surrounding the ceremonies being planned to honor the one-year anniversary of October 7th.
I thank him deeply for it, and share it here in translation.
Ceremonies
The real ceremony,
The national one
The personal one
Is held every day,
All day
In the chambers of my heart.
And it has a constant change of flags:
The flag of hope
The flag of pain
The flag of longing
The flag of comfort.
And it has the flag at the top of the mast, and at the bottom of the bottom
And a siren that pierces the heart and the kishkes, and freezes the blood
And an El Male Rachamim said with clenched teeth.
And a Kaddish so orphaned,
That no one answers after it Amen.
And it has a memorial candle that consumes the air,
And a silver platter and endless love.*
And yizkor is the foundation of the ceremony
And its purpose,
And the meaning of its power.
And it takes place without an audience, the ceremony
And sometimes, against my will,
It is projected on the screen of my watery eyes.
And it ends with HaTikvah, the song of hope
Or in a still silence.
And it is so official, the ceremony,
And it is so personal,
And it is held at the same time,
In a thousand broken hearts.
And it has everything in it, the ceremony
It lacks
Only
Him.
Hagai Lober
(The Minister of my Ceremony)
*The Hebrew here is אהבת עולם- the name of a prayer - but I chose to translate this literally.
Also, the writer’s use of the phrase “silver platter”, is very likely a reference to the famous poem “A Silver Platter” by Natan Alterman, about Israel’s founding. I excerpt it here:
Full of endless fatigue and unrested,
Yet the dew of their youth
Is still seen on their head
Thus they stand at attention, giving no sign of life or death
Then a nation in tears and amazement will ask: "Who are you?"
And they will answer quietly,
"We Are the silver platter on which the Jewish state was given."