"It's Not At All Like What I'd Thought When I Imagined Us All Grown Up"
A Song for a Brother Held Hostage
Sagui Dekel-Chen is known for many things, but for the past 410 days he’s been “The hostage Sagui.” Yet, as his older brother Itai writes so movingly below, he really is so much more than that.
Itai is an old friend of ours- my husband married him and his wife — making Sagui the only one of the captives in Gaza I have a personal connection to. I have had Sagui and his family in my heart and in my prayers since I first understood he’d be stolen, and I am amazed at the ways his family keep his light shining.
His wife Avital continues to manage a small grocery Sagui built with his own hands in a bus. (You can hear more about this here. I did not have the time to do a careful translation, but if you turn on the subtitles you’ll get the gist of Avital’s story, and her incredible strength). Sagui’s father Jonathon travels the world speaking about him wherever he can. And Itai and others from the “Bikurim” youth music village that Sagui founded along with his father and Tamar Siman Tov, who was murdered on October 7 alongside her husband and children, continue to create music in Tamar’s memory, and in prayer that Sagui will come home— soon.
They call their work the Tamari Project, and this song, Evening Falls, is one they recorded with the Israeli singer Idan Raichel because it is Sagui’s favorite. Its words relay simple joy in what is, which is certainly not something neither Sagui nor Avital merit to feel right now.
Instead, in the beginning of this clip- which I took from the clip the Tamari project produced for the music video they released with song- Avital, who met her husband at age 14- says she relates to the words of the song “This isn’t what I’d thought when I imagined us all grown up.” Being without her husband for more than a year, having no idea what he is going through, and giving birth to their third daughter without her husband at her side (a daughter he’s yet to meet)— all of this most certainly isn’t something Avital could have imagined.
The song goes on to say “But it’s good enough for me.” What is right now isn’t good enough, but, please G-d, Avital and Sagui will be able to sing this together very, very soon.
I bring here below the lyric video I’ve made with my creative translation, and it opens and closes with parts that are included in the original music video.
I also bring an essay Itai wrote about his brother that was originally published in the Yisrael HaYom newspaper.
My Beloved Younger Brother, Sagui Dekel Chen, is Simply a Mechanic at Heart
Through the eyes of a loving brother: the moving story of Sagui, a captive in Gaza, whose resourcefulness transformed him from a "fixer of everything" to a musician on a stage in England • A portrait of a true Israeli, whose hands and heart are always open to any challenge
There are people that are just like that. Artists, who no matter what they do– do it artistically. When they bake a cake - it looks like Jackson Pollock did it. When they arrange a sock drawer - it’s a tribute to Andy Warhol. When they send an email to the municipality - it will be with meter, rhyme, and be written as a haiku...
And there are people that are just like that. Models... for who everything is modeled. Their living room shines, their children appear as if in a magazine, their car is stylish, their life –beautiful.
And there are the athletes, for who everything is a competition... and the teachers, for who everything is a teaching moment... and the managers, for who everything is measurable, and the therapists - for who everything is about the process (the most annoying of them all).
And there is my beloved, younger brother Sagui Dekel Chen, who is... well, he is simply a mechanic at heart. A real man, for who the world that unfolds before him consists of problems - and their solution; flaws - and their fixing. Who is endowed with infinite resourcefulness, and hands without limits; who dares to open every lid, and enter a dialogue with every engine.
Sagui, the first and only person you call for advice on anything and everything, and who always know what’s right : which drill for the dowel, which wood for the pergola, how much air pressure for the wheel, which oil for the baby, and which radiator fluid for peace in the home (the green one, by the way). Such a magician, who knows how to do anything, and if necessary, also be anything. "Need a screw? I'm a screw."
And in our small music village, full of artistic and sensitive souls, humans floating slightly above ground, Sagui– was a mechanic. What's the problem? The piano needs tuning? “Bring a #10 screw.” A crisis among the staff? “Come on- let’s empty the trash bins. Everyone, now.” One of the students is a bit down? “Bring her here- she can paint the bathroom– it’ll do her good.”
During the establishment of the village, KKL-JNF of England, the amazing organization that adopted us (and especially Sagui), suggested we send an ensemble to perform in England. Perfect. It’s just that we didn’t yet have any students. Or any staff. But we had a mechanic. “Let's take Muriel- he’s already too old for the village. At least he’ll get to go on a trip.” Oh, you need another musician? An accordionist? A drummer? “I’ll play.” But you don't really know how to play, Sagui. "I'll play.” You've never stood on a stage. "I'll play". So he said, and so it was. He learned everything by heart, put on a show, and even wore a shirt with a few buttons.
Sagui Dekel Chen.
Need a screw? I'm a screw.
A musical mechanic.
A man.
A brother.
Reading this and listening to the music - its so heartfelt. It made me cry. Thanks for sharing all this Leah, without you - I would not be able to access . I really appreciate you - you are creating a bridge for all of us who cannot read Hebrew.